Six degrees of who gives a shit

1. Alfonso Ribeiro (aka Carlton from Fresh Prince). Was in a movie called Seek and Hide, not to be confused with the Dakota Fanning vehicle Hide and Seek. Do you see how they did that, do you see?? Also in Seek and Hide....

2. Lance Bass (aka that guy from N'Sync who wanted to go into space). Was/Is in a movie called Lovewrecked (also with Carlton, they're like the new Ben and Matt...or Bogart and Bacall...oooh or Amos and Andy). Also in Lovewrecked...

3. Chris Carmack (aka Luke from The OC). Will be in the new Lohan movie Just My Luck (which sounds a little like Maid to Order, most underrated movie ever). Also in Just My Luck...

I'm going to stop there b/c I feel like I'm going in circles. I keep seeing the same people over and over and I've only gone through maybe 4 movies. It's like a cult. A really crappy cult.
R.

Things I really really want right now

1. A teeny tiny dishwasher (via Ashley) They probably hold maybe 4 plates and possibly a cup, but I don't care. They're really fucking cute. Like small puppy cute.

2. Speaking of puppies, I want to rent one for a day. Is there a place you can do that? I don't want the responsibility of a dog, just the fun stuff that comes with it. I would take it to the park then to the Dogiwash. Because let's be honest, I don't even really want to play with it. I just want to put it on the conveyer belt and watch it go. I mean, it has a Mascot (Stuey, pictured above) for crying out loud.

3. Money. So that I can gamble hardcore in Vegas this weekend rather than being relegated to nickel slots. Gotta bet big to win big. Also regarding me and Vegas (or is it Vegas and I?), my friend Dom gave me 2 free tickets to see Weezer/Red Hot Chili Peppers on Saturday. I'm going b/c they're free, not because I really want to hear Rivers Cuomo sing "We are all on drugs" or "Beverly Hills." Rivers, if that's really want to be, then move there. You're rich, I'm sure you can afford a place. I wonder if Anthony Kiedes will wear a kilt, or did he stop doing that in the early 90's?

4. A lover I don't have to love.

5. Candy. Lots of candy. And a lifetime membership in the National Confectioners Association.

I'm taking donations for any of the above.
R.

Why is it....

that the last hour of work is always the longest?
R.

Hell fucking yeah

Degrassi Second Season DVD Release signing at Jay & Silent Bob's Secret Stash in Westwood tomorrow. I don't care that I'm outing myself as a fan of a Canadian teen soap opera-esque show. What I do care about is the fact that I can't go and meet Ellie and Marco, two of my favoritest characters, b/c I have to go to some thing for work. It really sucks. I told Ashley to take pictures, which you can bet your ass I'll post on Monday.
R.

Are they gay or are they just Danish?

Last night's Junior Senior show was awesome, possibly the best show I've been to in a while (or ever). Why? Because I, Reagan, like to dance. Even though dancing sober can cause problems (complete awareness of exactly how bad of a dancer you are, not knowing what to do with your arms, etc) last night I didn't give a fuck. I could hear "Last Dance" playing in the back of my mind, expecting at any moment glitter to fall from the ceiling, a la 1970's disco. While there are many styles of dancing I fail miserably at (hip hop, regular dancing, the watusi) I can disco like nobody's business. I have mastered the art of the clap, I know when to randomly point, I sway back and forth with an intensity Donna Summer only wishes she had. I'm rambling, but you get the point. I'm awesome at disco.

Dude.man.phat's imaginary conversation with Jake G and why it's the best:
1. B/c it involves Jake G.
2. B/c it calls KD ugly (isn't that what busted means?).
3. B/c it's funny.
And I'm not the only one obsessed...I head 7 responses to my Jake the Surfer post (even if 2 of them were from me).

Blaggblogg rips on artists (or people who call themselves artists). I wonder what he thought of this. (I just linked to myself...lamest. moment. ever.)

I'm about to buy tickets to see Brendan Benson at the El Rey in July. Sure, I'm poor, can't afford to eat or pay bills, but I HAVE to buy this ticket. How else is he going to see me standing awkwardly in the audience and invite me on to his tour bus to make out.

Bloc Party on NPR.
R.

Dear Diary

Tonight I'm going to see Junior Senior at Spaceland. Those danes (?) are crazy!

In my dream last night, I had a baby. Not that I "had" a baby as in gave birth to one, but more like poof, I have a baby. And I kept misplacing it. What does that mean? I even almost rolled over it, it was sleeping beside me but I forgot it was there. Then I think it started talking. Yes, that's when thing got weird.

Ashley has come up with a great new dieting idea. She calls it "the gb diet" which means you eat like you've had gastric bypass surgery without actually getting the surgery. I think they can have like one ounce of food per meal or something like that. No wonder Nicole Richie is so freaking thin, her lover DJ AM's on the gb diet (but for real) so she prob doesn't want to feel like a fat ass.

Yesterday my boredom was entertaining. Today it's a different story. It's so quiet in my office. Like the kind of quiet that in a horror movie would imply impending doom. If the lights were off, I'd be a little scared.

I'm way too picky. I need to lower my standards. At least I need to assess my level of hottness and try to find someone who fits within the upper eschalon of its limits. Basically, find the hottest guy that I can plausibly get. Oh, but he has to be funny and nice too. Maybe I need to give up one of those demands. Okay, he doesn't have to be nice.

I'm going to Vegas for the fourth of July. I have no money, so this is probably a bad idea. But I'm really good at having bad ideas. Speaking of...in order to make some extra cash to help me live the lifestyle to which I've become accustomed (barely middle-class), I'm going to start working the Promenade on the weekends with a table where people can take their picture with me. Why? Just because. I might even make t-shirts (aka use magic marker to write on the cheapest white tee I can buy). The tourists will eat. it. up.

I'm wearing a pretty pink skirt today. I feel like a princess. Who's been foreced into assistant slavery.

I need more IM friends so that there is a never a dull moment.
R.

I love him so much

Ashley was so right, it's pictures like these that make me love pink is the new blog.

The title is for Emily. I hope she gets it. If not, it can work as a stand alone, even without the reference.

Bored and (kind of) loving it

.

(via defamer)

I can't help that funny things keep happening to Tom Cruise. First Scientology, then sucking off Katie's face, now being squirted in the face by a fake microphone. That's right Tom- close your eyes or fear the wrath of the water.

I'm slightly enjoying tossing all responsibility aside and deciding to blog, email, doodle on notebook paper instead. Not that I have much responsibility, but I decided Monday would be "me" day even if I am still at work. Here are the things I'm thinking right now:

1. I'm going to start playing the field. I don't know what field that is, or where to find it, but when I do, I will play the hell out of it.
2. I want to go to more concerts. After Rilo Kiley last night, I've decided it's time to spend money on shows rather than drinking and clothes. Tomorrow I will go to Junior Senior at Spaceland. And I will not change my mind b/c I'm "tired" from working all day. That's a bullshit excuse and I know it.
3. I'm thinking about something funny I said on Saturday and laughing at myself. Literally, shaking my head as to say, "Oh Reagan". I get a kick out of myself sometimes (by sometimes I mean all the time)
4. I'm singing a song in my head but I have no idea what it is. It doesn't have real words, only a mumbled tune.

Now what should I talk about...hmmmmm.....how about the funny heading on IMDB: DiCaprio's Face Slashed by Madwoman. Maybe I'm a terrible person, but it makes me laugh. Not the act persay, but the headline. It's just so dramatic- slashed. Please.

Movies you should see:
1. Batman Begins

Movies you shouldn't see (according to someone else who is not me):
1. Danny Deckchair

I'm so shallow. I can't blame myself. Society has made me this way. Why else would the first question out of my mouth be "Is he cute?" no matter who it is or what we're talking about. Now I'm shaking my head as to say "Oh Reagan" but not in a good way.
R.

I will eat your face

(I don't know how to resize....I am stupid)

R.

I'm hopped up on Claritin

Symptoms: sore throat, light headedness, sporadic chills, soreness in neck
Diagnosis: possibly allergies, the flu, bubonic plague

I'm going to watch the MTV Movie Awards tonight like it's the fucking Oscars. By that, I mean I will sit down with friends or friend or alone and provide commentary that rivals that of Melissa Rivers or dare I say, Star Jones. I don't really care who wins, I don't even know the categories, but I think Katie brings Tom onstage to reiterate their love (of publicity) and I just can't miss that. I don't want to be left out at the water cooler tomorrow. Except that it will be just me at the water cooler- everyone else in my office is either old or mature or doesn't drink water.

I'm going to the beach this weekend even though the weather says it will be "mostly cloudy". It's always mostly cloudy. Every weekend, anytime I want to leave my apt, you look up and see what else? Clouds. Mostly.

I never think I have that many friends until I realize how many bday parties/dinners I've attended this season. Maybe they just invite me b/c they think I'll give them a present. Oh how wrong they are, suckers! I might get you a card...or make you one. Or just say "Happy Birthday" followed on occasion with "Next drink is on me". But it never is.
R.

Back from hiatus

(via a socialite's life)

Five things going through Hayden's pretty little head as he posed for this pic:
1. I'm so man-pretty it hurts.
2. I'm Anakin Skywalker, who the fuck are you?
3. I like boys.
4. This turtleneck is choking me.
5. Wait- who put me in a fucking turtleneck?

Bravado Incognito

Last night I fell in love with my bartender. It happened so fast, in my head I just kept going "this crazy, this is crazy" but my heart took over and told me "go ahead, get another drink, maybe this time you'll talk to him". But I didn't. I just stood there, kind of smiling, waiting as he made my drink, then saying "Thank you" in my oh-my-god-that-girl-is-so-fucking-adorable voice that you just have to love me. It's kind of sickening. When I closed my tab, I contemplated being sly and just writing my phone number on the receipt, something I have never done before and most likely will never do b/c 1) I don't have the balls and 2) I'm not so sure, but is it pathetic? I can't take any chances.

Okay, I didn't realize they arrested Christian Slater, like took him away in handcuffs arrested him? (via just jared) I thought the lady with the ass that was (allegedly) grabbed just made a complaint. You know, a little paperwork, some money exchanged, problem solved. It worked with Michael Jackson (the first time).

Mary-Kate looks like shit (via a socialite's life). And she don't give a fuck.

There really is a website for everything....even something as mundane as celebrities eating (via lindsayism). Who am I kidding? I will look at every picture like a goddamned curator.

Today is Ashley's birthday, so....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ASHLEY
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

(I'm not original)

Tonight we're going to the White Horse for an evening of "drinking a few (or many) alcoholic beverages, and basically participating in an entire night of debaucherous awesomeness." I can't wait. AND the next day it's fun at the beach for Birthday Wars: Revenge of the Beach, Episode II. This time, however, I will not burn the hell out of my back (it's still an odd shade of brown thanks to my last beach venture...damn you SPF 4!!!)
R.

Doll Graveyard

Check it out...the director of the film I worked on when I first moved to LA started a blog. Funny, but the picture of him has to be at least 15 years old (he's the one who's NOT a doll). This guy's got the low budget/straight to video horror genre by the balls, I think he's produced like 250 movies or something, including the classic Puppetmasters. And the infamous (to only me) Dr. Moreau's House of Pain, on which I served as 2nd AD (promoted from PA, if that gives you any idea of the crack pot production they were running). Thanks to this film, I now have the best story ever of my first job in LA...which involved picking up a midget at the airport b/c the producer who was going to originally got into a bar fight with some Armenians the night before and injured his eye...his good eye (the other one lived permanently under an eye patch). So I'm at the airport waiting for the midget and I notice that the "professinal" drivers are all holding signs. I then scribble the actor's name on a piece of notebook paper, b/c I wanted to seem professional too and I didn't know if it was rude to assume that he would be the only midget in the airport. Eventually he glides down the escalator, but keeps walking past me b/c he can't read the sign (again, it's written on notebook paper...and in pencil). I kind of panic, wondering if that's my midget or just another midget who happened to be on the same flight (it could happen). Finally I just yell out his name hoping it's him and if not then I'm just some weird girl screaming out a name to no one in particular...and he turns around and takes a closer look at the sign that I'm still holding with two hands like a fucking dumbass. I kind of just nudge it towards him, as to say, "Is this you?" in case it's not actually him and he was just responding to the random girl shouting, you know how people like to stare at the crazies (I do). And that's my story. The end. It's much better in person, but you'll never know that version. Or maybe you already do and you remember how awesome it was. Or maybe you didn't like it b/c it's negative towards midgets. It's not really, people just tend to think "Oooh, funny story" when they hear the word midget. I can't change society's perceptions.
R.

US Weekly calls it as they (sort of) see it

Healthy.



Not healthy.



Yes, the difference b/w the two is shocking! (insert sarcasm here)

One week they're putting Jessica in the category w/ the other anorexics Mary-Kate, Lindsay Lohan, and Nicole Richie (and on occassion, a little Kate Bosworth). The next week they're touting that they have her bikini body secrets (surprisingly not eating and vomiting did not make the list). So what is it US Weekly? I need to know so I can effectively feel bad about myself without any confusion on the matter.
R.

Things that make you go hmmm....

Nice C & C Music Factory reference Reagan. Why, thank you.

So I ended up watching a Surreal Life marathon this weekend (yes, while I was on vacation, I'm pathetic) and damn if it didn't suck me into their sick little reality. Even days after the fact, I still can't quite make sense of Adrianne Curry and Christopher Knight's relationship and I'm ashamed I've even tried. To make sense of it, that is. It's funny b/c with the many things you can say about it (the age difference, she's a top model he's a Brady, it's just weird) the thing that bothers me the most is that she's taller than him. I can take ugly people dating pretty people, interracial dating, even celebrities dating regular citizens- but if the girl is taller, uh uh, won't work. Makes me want to puke. Not really, I'm exaggerating. Luckily, I don't have that problem so much, being all of 5'5". Plus, me likey the 6 footers.

Speaking of weird, I watched Chaotic again this week and honestly, it's like I can't just watch it I actually think about it...and repeat many times over "I just don't get it" like fucking Rain Man (sometimes holding knees to chest and rocking is involved). Watching Britney try to wax analytical and Kevin respond as if he's Helen Keller learning how to say "water" makes my mind operate as if it were trying to figure out the formula for rice cakes (they're like cardboard, but edible!).

Another thing that just drives me insane is when I have work to do and I don't want to do it. Or when my boss assumes I'm just sitting here waiting to service her (he he service) when in all actuality I have my own shit to do (i.e. blogging, reading the internet, IM'ing friends, staring at the wall). Working is overrated. I would just say fuck it but I don't think I could survive as a homeless person. I like my showers and regular meals. And my television. And my bed. And drinking not out of a bag but rather in a bar, on a stool or at a table, either way, I'm fine, it works, as long as there is a drink in front of me. I can't wait for the weekend.
R.